The forced entry update

I remember when I first started blogging, Chris hadn’t done so for about 2 months, and when I asked him why this was? He simply said that you lose interest; it begins to feel like you’re writing for yourself, and if you wanted to do that you could write in a journal and be a lot more personal. People don’t comment, they sit there, read, have laugh and then close the page, taking but not giving, typical.

Just kidding, that’s not my reason for not posting anything recently; my reason is that I just haven’t felt like it. There’s plenty to write about but I just couldn’t be bothered. Maybe it’s the weather, but that’s just an easy excuse that you can use for anything.

Not much has happened since the last entry, I’m still drinking beer (although not getting as drunk), maybe dayne would disagree with me on that one.

Let’s see… what have I done worth writing about. My Easter weekend, started off and Friday, how I love bank holidays, that’s another thing, why call them bank holidays? Everyone gets off too don’t they? So why not call it a public holiday, like everyone else does?

Anyways back to the Easter weekend, I hope everyone remembered what it was all about, not just the Easter bunny and Easter eggs. That doesn’t make sense either, since when do rabbits lay eggs? Or is a bunny some other species different to rabbits?

So back to my weekend, Friday I went to visit a friend of mine in Wimbledon, quite a nice area, a lot cleaner than Forest Gate (the name is misleading, I have yet to see the forest, or the gate). Satueday- nothing, Sunday- church, Monday- got drunk with Dayne at the Spanish bar.

Men strike back

Before anyone accuses me of being a sexist pig, this email was sent to me by a friend and since there are so many emails out there insulting men I thought this was quite funny.

How many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allowsthem to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."

How do you fix a woman's watch?You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men fart more than women?Because women can't shut up long enough tobuild up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?A woman who won't do what she's told.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishesa woman's sex drive by 90%.It's called a Wedding Cake.

Women will never be equal to men until they canwalk down the street with a bald head and a beergut, and still think they are sexy.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.Then God created Man and rested.Then God created Woman.Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

What a beautiful day!

Today has to be the best day we’ve had over here in months, I think it’s about 18-20 degrees Celsius (Fahrenheit is stupid), this is the hottest London has been since about September last year. So many things change, I mean people actually smile! You’d think they were being paid or that there was something in the air, but you’d be wrong; it’s all the suns doing. People were walking around without their jackets on, the park benches were full, and people just seemed a whole lot happier than usual, almost buzzing with excitement.

I’m not sure if people in Cape Town can understand what I’m saying, but imagine three years of grey skies and rain, everyone’s really unhappy, everything’s wet and grey and dull and then you wake up one day to really warm sunny weather and a blue sky. Dayne wrote something similar on his blog, but its an R18 blog, so I hav reservations about displaying it here, just kidding Dayne (but I'm still not displaying it).

I’ve said it before, but we really do take what we consider to be ‘the simple things in life’ for granted.

A Rude Awakening

As I’ve mentioned before, a good night’s sleep in London should be considered a luxury, and last night I almost had one. After coming home from work at about 17:30, I greeted the other housemates, dumped my bags, and got rid of the suit. About 20 minutes earlier I had bought a packet of chips (crisps to non South Africans), nik-naks to be precise, of course they were bought at the SA shop, as London’s sorry excuse for Simba is called Walkers, think ‘no-name’ chips and you’ve got it.

So after I’d greeted and shed my work clothes, I slumped onto the bed, ate my nik-naks while thinking of my beautiful country back home, and then feel asleep. The time of falling asleep? 18:00.

I slept pretty much straight through until about 03:30 only to wake up to a rustling of a packet, my first thought was ‘who the hell is in my room?!’, I thought it may have been one of the housemates playing games again, and I’m sure most people would agree with me here, waking up against your will does not leave you in the best of moods. But I then realised that it was the empty packet of crisps I had left on the floor that was making the noise. So very disgruntled, and quite annoyed (the same thing, but I’m trying to emphasise my mood) but slightly amused I switched my reading lamp on only catch a glimpse of a little brown tail forcing the much larger body mass in front of it through a gap under my door that was way too small to fit through. I watched for a few seconds and in my heavy-eyed daze was quite amazed to see how the mouse struggled persistently but successfully through the gap. Of course I could have just grabbed it by the tale and thrown it in my bin, but I hate killing animals, even those considered to be professional pests.

So even though the little bastard interrupted what would have been one of my best sleeps in ages, I awoke feeling quite inspired by the tiny rodents persistence. The moral of the story? With great effort, comes great results, or in his case another day of freedom. :)

Sleep Deprivation

London is a city that thrives on life, meaning that people don’t sleep, and those that do don’t sleep enough (unless of course you’re a 4 month old baby and live a life similar to Garfield). For the rest of us, those that consider themselves part of the working class, sleep is really a luxury. It’s as if the clocks are being sped up in London, time just doesn’t seem the same. I could do a lot more in Cape Town in one day than I can in London, and no it’s not because of the tubes, the time they take out of your day is about the same that driving would back home. Maybe there’s just more to do in London, people to see, places to be, things to do etc.

Although personally I don’t think so, I just think that people get caught up in the constant rush of all of those around them. Although we work the same amount of hours, spend the same amount of hours travelling to and from work (compared to those in Cape Town), there is just less time to do the things you want to do.

Trying to sleep late on weekends to 'catch up' on sleep doesnt work either.

My Bother (again)

Happy Birthday Mat

It was my brothers birthday on Monday (7th March) and since I wasnt there I thought I'd post an entry on my blog to wish him a happy birthday. He turned 15, they grow up so quick :)
Apparently hes developing the same sarcastic humour that seems to run in my famliy, I blame my dad, actually I should thank him, I love sarcasm.

Happy Birthday Mat!

My brother and his friends

Blog Browser

The other day I noticed the little icon labelled ‘Next’ in the top right hand corner of this screen (you all looked there now didn’t you?), and clicked on it (don’t click until you’ve finished reading this post), it goes on to a randomly selected blog, so since there are millions of blogs out there, its highly unlikely that you will ever get the same one twice.

Why am I sharing this with you? Because some of those ‘randomly selected’ blogs are insanely funny, others can however become a new level of boring, depressing and annoying. The annoying blogs being those that decide to freak you out with virus look-alike pop-ups that make you think you’ve just done something really wrong and that the work pc that you’re used to typing away on will now become non-existent.

The insanely funny ones are somewhat disappointing in that I have to accept that there are people out there funnier than me (something I’ve always known).

So anyways enough nonsense talking, the reason I’m sharing this with you is that if you have any spare time at work and are bored of checking out the local news network or dvd store, trying blog browsing.

Apple and Peach: My newly found treasure

I’ve been working at Mercers for almost 6 months now, and by now have assumed tha I know all that there is to know (typical) only to find something new today. I forget how we came upon this conversation, but one of the other temps here pointed out that the coffee machine is more than just a coffee machine. The shock, the horror, it also does water, wow that’s cool! But wait, there’s more… it does flavoured water! Apple and Peach flavoured water, how cool is that? It was by far the best cup of water I’ve had all week.

I almost forgot, the coffee (and water) machine gets better, you don’t have to put one of the plastic cups underneath the dispenser, it puts one there for you! The technology of today astounds me; ‘Welcome to the 21st century’ says one of my colleagues.

The best part about all of this? There are more flavours to be explored!

SHHH! Or you’ll be in trouble

Normally this statement would make sense; however ‘SHHH and you WILL be in trouble’ is more appropriate when talking about Sunday’s carling cup final and Chelsea’s coach José Mourinho. When did censorship start controlling every action seen by the public eye? What happened to freedom of speech? Oh yes, only the wrong kind of people can exercise their right to freedom of speech, everyone else has to keep their mouths shut and their fingers in their pockets.

Since when does holding your finger over your mouth in a shushing motion warrant being sent off the field? If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m referring to mourinho being asked to leave the pitch during post match celebrations because he was said to be provoking the liverpool supporters. If he was or if he wasn’t, how does shushing warrant being sent off the field in the middle of his first victory for Chelsea?

Please comment on this post and let me know if you think it was right for him to be sent off, or if those responsible for him being sent off should have their tongues cut out.