Ufo’s in the morning

I was awoken rather earlier than normal this morning to a sound I’ve only heard once before, or at least think I have. I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again, my bed sucks, my mattress is so old I think it was used during the blitz in some underground station, somehow it found its way to my room. I’ve gotten used to bad sleep and restless nights, its become something of the norm to me, but this morning I was woken not from sharp bedsprings poking me in the side, but by some buzzing/ humming noise, and a faint light slipping under my blinds.

Hmmm… first thought that comes to mind is it must be a UFO, but what the hell is this thing doing so low, at least it sounded low, I try and look out my window but see nothing, of course im not looking too hard cause I don’t want to be abducted and taken off to some far away planet for weird experiments, so I lay there, listening, wondering, if that isn’t a UFO, then who in the dodgy East is mowing their lawn at 3:30 in the morning!? It definately didnt sound normal, humming is all I can remember.

So I got up, all eager to find mini crop circles in my back garden, but to my disappointment nothing expcept for cigarette buts and my dusty back yard, aaah! I suddenly realise, the UFO couldn’t leave ‘crop circles’ because a) there aren’t any crops, and b) if they wanted to leave garden circles, they wouldn’t be able to as there isn’t enough grass!

Mystery solved